By: Taj Emm
(a blog series detailing my personal experience with my first Saturn return)
The dreaded Saturn return occurs when the planet Saturn has completed its orbit around the sun, returning to the zodiac sign it was in at the time of your birth. Just like the sun transits through a zodiac sign approximately every 30 days, Saturn transits through a zodiac sign roughly every 2.5-3 years. Known as The Planet of Karma, Saturn rules over responsibility, discipline, restrictions, limitations, time, authority figures, and life lessons. My Saturn return started in March 2020 when the planet entered Aquarius, and the world entered a pandemic. I was beginning a deep dive into astrology then, so I was unfamiliar with this planetary phenomenon. From my research, I gathered that most people are terrified of this celestial return because it is often framed as a quarter-life crisis that knocks the wind out of you. I can’t lie; Saturn has left me out of breath quite a few times, but I’m learning that it’s not something to fear necessarily. It’s a metamorphic transition into adulthood that challenges you to go further than what you could ever fathom.
Saturn is the tough teacher who prioritizes accountability and never lets you take the easy route. Humans are naturally hardwired to take the path of least resistance, so when Saturn enters the picture, things get a tad more challenging. It’s daunting because we aren’t looking forward to more lessons and responsibilities in our already hectic lives. Saturn brings a serious energy that wants to teach us the value of hard work. Sometimes, Saturnian energy can make things intense when all you want to do is make it through the week. There is already so much societal pressure to gain success quickly at a young age, and Saturn doesn’t make it any better. However, Saturn does offer us the lesson of longevity and patience. There’s nothing microwavable about how Saturn works through your life, especially during your first return.
Now that Saturn has entered Pisces and I’ve technically completed my first Saturn return, I have some thoughts on my overall experience so far. It was challenging to navigate because I encountered so many new “adult” problems. Things I would instinctively avoid for my own mental and emotional comfort came knocking at my front door. My four-year relationship ended, childhood traumas popped up, and I started my “career, ” then soon realized it was not going anywhere. The thing is, it all happened because, strangely, it needed to. Ultimately, I am better off for it because nothing can grow from your comfort zone. Yes, I felt like the universe was testing me, and it was absolutely annoying but necessary in the moment. Saturn does not present anything with ease, but it’s just like any other life transition. Adjustment takes time, whether it’s graduating from college and entering the workforce or having a baby. That’s a lesson that I’m learning to accept.
My Saturn return pushed me towards breaking figurative restraints that stopped me from finding my footing. I was used to playing it safe. That’s still what I feel comfortable with to a certain extent, but I understand that playing it safe no longer serves me. If you’re into tarot, think of the 8 of swords. It can be challenging to free yourself if you’ve felt stagnant and grown accustomed to it. Over the last two years, I have been forced to confront my insecurities and fears. Some I didn’t even know I had. I’m sure I could have disregarded these life lessons, but Saturn comes in like a wrecking ball. Besides, ignoring the universe only complicates things in the long run.
While I can’t say I have it all figured out, I know I am not the same person I was when Saturn first entered Aquarius in 2020. I was trying to hold onto people and things that weren’t meant for me. Humans seek comfort, but oddly enough, everything that comforts us isn’t always good for us. It takes time to figure that out, but that’s what Professor Saturn is for. Think of your Saturn return as a cosmic glow-up. It’s the storm before the rainbow.
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